Sunday, July 10, 2011
The Importance of Making Your Own Decisions
During the exercise we had in class of Thursday we had to make decisions about what we would do when certain instances came out when dealing with the illness and or death of our child. One of the topics dealt with a child who was 16 not wanting to go through any more procedures, and live what was left of their life not in a hospital or sick. This topic hit home for me because one of my best friends went through something similar when he was 17. My friend was 15 when he was diagnosed with Chrones Disease and had been though over 10 procedures in two years attempting to improve his life. Although not all procedures helped, along with many pills a day he was able to live a normal life as a high school student as possible and was even captain of his wrestling team and helped them win state his senior year. Later that year he got very ill and was told about a new procedure that "might" work. It would include removing over 40% of his intestine and although he wouldn't be able to live a normal life he would have 30% chance of living longer. He talked about this decision with many of his close friends including myself and we all told him that we would support any decision that he made. So latter that night he spoke with his mother and said that he didn't want the procedure and that he would rather remain taking the meds to mediate his symptoms and not have to suffer through such a serious procedure again. His mom said she understood but since he wasn't 18, she would be making that decision for him. We all met at his house to wish him good luck before his procedure...and that was the last time anyone ever saw his again. Gary died that night on the operating table at 3:39 p.m., before the procedure even began. The doctor said there were no signs for why his death occured and that he was strong enough to go through the surgery. We all believed that he made the decision for himself that he didn't want to suffer any more, and allowed himself to give up. He died knowing that all of his friends and family cared about him, and that his friends knew what he really wanted out of this illness. After that experience I learned how important it is take what ever anyone says seriously, and grant what ever their wishes are because you never know what is coming around the corner. Garry's mother never forgave herself and would have given anything to have listened to her son. But that is a decision she will never forget and had changed her life and our lives forever.
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Your story is really sad, I can't imagine losing a really close friend being that young. This is a perfect real life example of what I was trying to say with the 'My Sisters Keeper' post, when a person is done fighting, it doesn't matter how much their family or friends want them to, it's all really up to them. I feel horrible for his mother though, I just hope she realizes he's at peace with her. Pretty much every mother is going to do everything she can to save her child and I hope she isn't consumed with guilt to this day.
ReplyDeleteI'd have to agree with garrod that the prospect of the final decision will always come down to the patient. The next best thing you can do is to keep the patient as informed as you can on the prospect of choices. In this case, the patient was very well informed. As such, that child's mother is going to live with her forced decision with the rest of her life. I just hope she finds closure in that he had made his decision on his own in the end.
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