Jazz Band (6/30/11)

I don't know how you guys feel about the New Orleans Jazz Band rituals we saw in class today, but I feel like dancing on a casket is a bit much. I am all about grieving in your own way and not being one to put my opinion out or say something is wrong, I just don't think that caskets should be danced on. I love the idea of making it a celebration and having a party going on in the street but I just feel like that is crossing some sort of line. I am by no means saying that it's wrong or that these people shouldn't be allowed to do it, just that I personally feel like it is going overboard a tad. Jus wondered how you guys felt about it.

Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgYRBFtQCoc

Hi Everyone,
This is a song we danced to when I was younger at my dance studio when a close friends nephew died. This is a beutiful song, that illustrates a softer and peaceful side of death.

Halley

A Blog Worth Reading

I have been following this man, Aaron Jameson, on Facebook and through his blog for the last several months. I read an article about him a while back, and learned that he is a young married man living with Cancer. Since I have followed his story, his health insurance has expired, leaving him with no money for chemo or other treatments, and is only receiving pain medications (very small, seldom doses in spite of his pain, which he explains in the blog). He is very honest and open with his situation, no sugar-coating, which in turn means that some of his entries are pretty difficult to read. I have never met him, but he has changed my life. I encourage you all to check out his blog. He blogs less frequently than he used to because he is getting more and more sick by the day, but he has written about everything from suicide to his hallucinations caused by his failing organs.

I don't have the same beliefs as he does regarding afterlife, and I know some of you won't either, it is still completely worth checking out:

http://judasforgiven.blogspot.com/

-Amelia

Four Things to Say

Last week Thursday our instructor talked about the four things one should say to his or her loved one. Yes, I also believe words like I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me and we will be ok are important, but will we even have an opportunity to say that. I mean in reality, most people never experience a good death because in a whole our western society shys away from the topic of death. the truth be known those four famous last things to say will most of the time never happen. The majority of people die in hospitals strapped to machines, on sedatives or close to being brain dead. The point is this, do we as a society even want to make the necessary changes on how we view or embrace death to hear those final four things?

"Dead Peasants" Life Insurance

Did you know that some corporations have life insurance policies on their own employees? This policy is titled "Dead Peasant Life Insurance" and insurance companies pay the employer (tax-free) after the death of an employee. Corporations can actually profit from the death of their own employees! The above image shows a few companies that hold this insurance plan and the Wall Street article below provides further information and real-world cases. How would you feel if businesses gained from a loved-ones death?

http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/april_19.htm

Jazz Funeral - New Orleans

Good morning, everyone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z37oCs0lggg

In the above video is a New Orleans Jazz funeral. The ceremony includes walking the closed casket down the roads of local neighborhoods, singing, music, and sometimes dancing on the closed casket. Of course, there is an uproar about how dancing on the casket is disrespectful to the dead individual's memory and a certain amount of disagreement with the fact that the funeral is turned into a celebration for everyone in the neighborhood rather than a respectful ceremony between close friends and family.
Regardless, the Jazz funeral remains a distinct part of New Orleans culture.
I would like to know what you all think of this type of funeral.
Happy opinion sharing!
- Devon Di Pentima

talked about death

You know what i did today/ I decided to test what we learned about in class and start talking to people about death. It was really slow today at my weekened job as a server so while we were sittig around i ask people about death.
It started when i ask my boss if he had a will made up. he gave me such a half grin and cooked his head and said why do you ask? the grin was because i always come up with random conversation to pass the time, but this one was short. he chuckled and said no that he had no will. I proceeded to tell him what a mess it could be with finaces if you do not leave a will. he again chuckled and said Poor Brandy(his wife) she has not the slightest clue about our finances." Thats when i tod him again he should go to a lawyer and draft up a will in case. as he was walking away obvious that he did not want to talk about it any more he has more important things to do with his money. hes only 35
So not satisfied i went to santiago again a 35 year old father and husband and asked him do you have a will.He looks at me chuckling and and says why do you ask?then says no. i ask why not and he asked "why am i going to die." I told him that yes he was eventually going to die and that he should be ready for it. as i pushed the subject he was getting more and more unconfortable.he finally said he was too young to get a will written out.
i moved on to the busser who is a 25 year old single mother, i asked her. Do you think that there could be a good death? she looks a little taken back and takes a moment and says no. I then asked her why. she goes on to tell me that she is scared to die, scared of not knowing whats after and scared she will never see her daughter again. we go our seperate ways because our duties call us. She finds me rolling silverware and tells me a story of her friend funeral and how his mother spent her life savings on burying him.she asked me if someone doesnt have money to get buryed what happens to the body.I told her i was not sure but i think that they cremate the body. She said she did not want to get cremated and she wanted to be burried like her grandparents in a over the ground concrete tomb. I asked her if they had money and she said yes. i told her i thought so because to get something like that is very expensive. Some time between the conversation she asked me why i was talking about death and i simply told her because i was curious about the subject.
So after my little trial death is not a favorite subject, its not something that my co workers have really pondered on at all, and their awnsers were very simular to the attitudes on death that we have discussed in class. I will continue my talk of death just to let the people around me know that if they ever want to talk about it, im interested.
lilith lahaie

Thursdays class(062311)

Im not sure about the rest of you but on thursdays class i was getting angry. I was angry that there is suppost to be a protocol to how to deal with death, or how to talk about it, or you call it. I find that death is a very personal thing between the dying and the loved ones around. There is no matter how we call it there is no right or wrong way to deal with death and talking about it.
I took the time to reflect on my feelings when i got home and wondered why i was getting so angry. I came to the conclusion that i was looking at the class content in the wrong fashion. The thursday class was not designed to dictate what is wrong and what is right when dealing with death just describe the way society in general deals with it and how we react to it. Its not the wrong way its just the way we react to it. So i am not angry any more but i also want to comment on the teachers suggestion to jum in bed with the sick and dying.
My personal advice is do what feels natural and consistent with the past. For examply if you and the dying were close and touched alot then yes jump in bed be close but if your relationship with the dying was never one of touch then i would not suggest to just jump in bed after years of never touching. You have to just trust your feelings and the feelings of the dying. Dont force anything because then they will feel unconfortable and so will you. If you listen to your gut it will tell you what to do and just follow that.

What to say.

A few things to consider...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-sick-this-life.html?_r=2

Amelia

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1178822/index.htm

This is a link to an article about a promising college athlete whose career was cut short by a terminal illness.


http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1178822/index.htm

Humorous Epitaphs from Real Gravestones

In a Silver City, NV cemetery:

Here lies Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.


From the Boot Hill cemetery, Tombstone, AZ:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.


From Margaret Daniels grave, Hollywood cemetery, Richmond, VA:

She always said her feet were killing her
But nobody believed her.


From a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June
--Johnny Fiddle --
Went out of tune.


From a Ribbesford, England cemetery:

The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the devil sent him Anna.

The Martyr Victorious

This engraving, done in 1865 and entitled, Lincoln: The Marytr Victorious, depicts the artist's perception of heaven. Here, Abraham Lincoln is being welcomed into heaven by George Washington. All are surrounded by angels.