You know what i did today/ I decided to test what we learned about in class and start talking to people about death. It was really slow today at my weekened job as a server so while we were sittig around i ask people about death.
It started when i ask my boss if he had a will made up. he gave me such a half grin and cooked his head and said why do you ask? the grin was because i always come up with random conversation to pass the time, but this one was short. he chuckled and said no that he had no will. I proceeded to tell him what a mess it could be with finaces if you do not leave a will. he again chuckled and said Poor Brandy(his wife) she has not the slightest clue about our finances." Thats when i tod him again he should go to a lawyer and draft up a will in case. as he was walking away obvious that he did not want to talk about it any more he has more important things to do with his money. hes only 35
So not satisfied i went to santiago again a 35 year old father and husband and asked him do you have a will.He looks at me chuckling and and says why do you ask?then says no. i ask why not and he asked "why am i going to die." I told him that yes he was eventually going to die and that he should be ready for it. as i pushed the subject he was getting more and more unconfortable.he finally said he was too young to get a will written out.
i moved on to the busser who is a 25 year old single mother, i asked her. Do you think that there could be a good death? she looks a little taken back and takes a moment and says no. I then asked her why. she goes on to tell me that she is scared to die, scared of not knowing whats after and scared she will never see her daughter again. we go our seperate ways because our duties call us. She finds me rolling silverware and tells me a story of her friend funeral and how his mother spent her life savings on burying him.she asked me if someone doesnt have money to get buryed what happens to the body.I told her i was not sure but i think that they cremate the body. She said she did not want to get cremated and she wanted to be burried like her grandparents in a over the ground concrete tomb. I asked her if they had money and she said yes. i told her i thought so because to get something like that is very expensive. Some time between the conversation she asked me why i was talking about death and i simply told her because i was curious about the subject.
So after my little trial death is not a favorite subject, its not something that my co workers have really pondered on at all, and their awnsers were very simular to the attitudes on death that we have discussed in class. I will continue my talk of death just to let the people around me know that if they ever want to talk about it, im interested.
lilith lahaie
Talking about death is a touchy subject, and more so in a working environment. I am surprised that your coworkers didn't complain or made some mention to your boss about your topic because they could have used the topic as a 'red flag' for any type of emotional/physical behavior. Fortunately, they were open-minded, as we all should be, about the subject.
ReplyDeleteI have never brought up death in the workplace, but I think I am going to do it soon. It's good to hear what others think about the topic, and comparing it to what I learned in class, I'll be able to have a better grasp on society's view of death.
I am as well surprised that no one was upset that you spoke about the topic, someone might think "okay, why are they asking me this? What are they up to?". Most members of our society are very closed minded and do not want to talk about any touchy feely controversial type of subjects. It's sad that we cannot be more open but most people just can't. I told my family I was taking this class and most of the comments I received were "well, that's depressing" or "well it's a killer it's at 8am" (my dad's sad attempt at humor). They were not to excited that I was sitting in a class talking about death. One thing I have learned so far though is that we have to talk about it and we have to try and change people's mindset. I applaud you for beginning to open people up to talking about this subject!!
ReplyDeleteThe responses you got from your coworkers are interesting. It seems your female friend you spoke with was much more receptive than your male friends. I think that largely due to the fact that you asked your female coworker for an opinion regarding a generalized death subject rather than a personal question regarding her own death. Your male friends may have been upset by the thought of creating a document that would suggest they were going to die at some point. We all will die, but as professor Cox said, this thought bothers people greatly.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a wonderful job regardless. You made it obvious to your coworkers that you are willing to talk about death, and they will most likely look to you when they would like to express their fears about death and dying.
- Devon
I commend you for being able to talk openly with co workers with the topic of death. So many individuals, including myself do not talk about the subject. but, everything is different, My fiance is in the Marine corps and he has a very open mind when it comes to death, I guess because it is part of his job. Myself on the other hand, I am not comfortable really talking about death to people I am not close with, and most people are very close minded and would not really accept the conversation topic of death and would quickly change the subject. That is awesome that you were able to talk to people about the topic, and hopefully make them realize it is okay to talk about it.
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